The Start

Here I go again.  How embarrassing.  I'm like a broken record.  This has been done so many times before.  I've never actually seen anyone roll their eyes at me, but I'm sure they do. 

But I am tired of it.  For so many reasons, I just can't go on like this.  It has got to the point where my size is actually becoming a hindrance.  Not only do I look flipping terrible, but things are getting quite uncomfortable.

Tonight I got Eva to take some 'before' photos of me.  There were none in my camera roll that I could use because for the last few years I have pretty much refused to have my photo taken.  Looking back at the photo albums my poor kids are going to think they have grown up without a mum.  That's something I really want to change.  I want to be in photos.  I especially want to be in photos with my gorgeous little children. 

So, they are not as bad as I expected.  At least I'm smiling.  But that outfit I am wearing has become my uniform.  A tunic over track pants and a shapeless cardigan.  It would be half acceptable if I just wore this slopping around home.  But I wear it every day.  Yup.  It's my best disguise.  I do actually like the polka dot tunic.  But it's very big.  And I'd much rather be able to wear it with skinny jeans and boots.  Not track pants.  Or maternity jeans.  Yup - they haven't been put away yet.

So about four weeks ago I joined weight watchers.  And a couple of months ago I joined Les Mills. Up to this point I have been trying (halfheartedly).  But I feel like I have plateaued before I've even properly begun.  I definitely haven't started with a hiss and a roar. 

By our home scales, my starting weight a few weeks ago was 78.3.  Currently I am 76.9.  My goal is 52.  And I'd like to get there by Christmas (which I think is about 28 weeks away).  So I need to be losing about a kg each week.  I know that's possible.  I'm going to make sure it happens..